_________.:+:. A magical falling gift .:+:.________

Saturday, September 30, 2006

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Hey man! guys peeps, beautiful ladies and gals who read dis post im making..

I wanna say that it has been a very long time since i blogged.. long tym isnt it? =D anyways, sumtyms, is juz plain laziness which claims me, and i dun wan to blog, but der are also tyms when i choose not to blog..=) hope u guys understand ok..~~

Anyways, i think dis lil post im making is gonna be very long.. i dunnmo, maybe.. maybe not.. depends on my mood.. heh~ Much as my feelings are kinda mixed up.

Alrite so here goes.. my mind is very clogged up now filled with qns from all over me.. Actually im oso not sure wad i wanna type here.. I wana laugh at my stupidity..haiz..

I always wonder.. y are der so mani conflicts within all of us..? y are ppl actually placing fake smiles when ever i walk around?? Even though people say we are united, that we are always together.. I reali wanna laugh at the people who reali said that.. who ever noes wad is goin on with us? that we are actually juz scattered sand on the floor. wads unity? its juz all a cover up.. each time i walk with em, all i can see is juz how ppl deceit each other.. smiling and laughing yet its devoid of feelings.. Im so swamped by such things.. peeps reading dis may think im thinking too much, but i can see.. maybe not true for sum, which i noe.. but many, many are as such i said.. i juz hav that gut feeling which tells me..~~ some how i juz wish i dun hav such a gut feeling.. that i wud be deceived without knowing.. den i wud be much happier..silly me..

Why do such things happen to me~~ to invoke such strongs feelings in my heart.. my soul actually tears each time.. and a scar is formed.. it nvr heals.. anyways.. life has to go on.. Am i a very complex person?

I am glad, that sum people, do put their trust in me, their utmost trust.. reali, im very honoured in the way they trust me.. but, am i reali worth that trust? dun u all fear that 1 day i wud tell it to the whole world?

Alotta things happened in dis few months.. sad~ happy~, i realised how fragile people, humans can actually be.. I myself am also a human.. yet, haiz..well, i dun reali noe wad to say.. Miscommunication is such a powerful thing.. it can coz distrust.. so much..

I had my fair share of people sharing their feelings to me.. again, its always miscommunication.. You mite think, wao, KC is so gd, he can understand people feelings and giv out gd advice.. he enlightened me..~ in sum way.. i duno, but always, wen i see or hear such words, my heart wud be so heavy.. for sum reason.. im not sure..wen people say, hey ur a great fren, or wad.. wad goes in my mind is that.. im not as gd as u think.. der ar so mani things inside me.. u wud see my flaws eventually.. and u mite turn out to dislyk me in a way or another~ i wun say now.. but in the near future? who noes? Today we can be of bestest frens.. but wad about tomorrow? nxt week? or the year after? life is always that unpredictable.. In someways...~~ i always crap.. wad i speak and tell people is all BULLSHIT.. CRAP! all of it.. Im so tired at times.. i juz wanna stop everything, and disappear for a few days, mths, i duno..but i know i couldnt.. i cant.

My life is such a miserable 1.. when im alone.. but ill always rmbr the tyms i had.. namely " XIN ER! LEE PHIN! JIA HUI! NICOLE! NICKY! AARON!" I shout out to u all.. i really thank you for the times u all hav been with me.. we went crazy a lot of times.. and i will hold em dear..

My lovelife nowadays?..hm.. i dun reali hav a love life at all.. nvr one since 1 was young.. At least.. who wud actually pity me? haha.. who wud actually take note of a kid who disappears and appears w/o much of a trace..~

anyways.. der are a thousand or a million things in my mind and heart.. you said u had a heavy heart? try my life. I dun reali wan to say much.. this is a public journal~ i onli type wad i wanna let u peeps noe.. i am sorry if tat hurts ur feelings..but its always the truth tat hurts.. doesnt it? =)

*for all the people who think that im talking about you.. plz plz, i onli say wad i feel.. i cant tell u to stop thinking about it, Im juz.. well, i juz say, ill leave it to u peeps.. u all hav ur own mind.. ^^ i juz hope that i dun offend anybody in dis post of mine..*

A million words cant express my tots.. much least a lil blog lyk dis.. anyways, tomorrow is another day..wad can i do? Smile of course! =)

my fav phrase " Relax. Im Listening."
And i do listen..=)

Well, wad can i say.. hm.. maybe by the tym u read finish dis lil post, wadever feelings tat i had said here wud be gone..^^ so ya~~ Dun worry. i will still be the old me..=). Ciao~

penned my thoughts at [9:54 PM]

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Introduction

I wanna say.. Thank you u all for coming to my bloggie.. the navigation tools are simple as it says~ Lol.. Read and stay here all ya want ya? xP
This blogskin is dedicated to my dear~ Xin Er.. as u can see the boy in the pic is me and the gal~ of course is her.. However, the pic is rather in the wrong way..lol.. They should switch positions.. For Xin Er is sumthing which tat has fallen from the sky for me only~ xP wahahaha! XD
Peace out..